That feeling that was them
by Reginetta
Summary: And she realised she had got it back, that feeling that was them...


**I couldn't sleep last night so I lay there wondering what would happen to Cal and Gillian in the much awaited new episodes... We know they won't be falling into each other's arms too soon. I was thinking of how I would like things to go in the meantime, and I wrote this little piece. I hope you guys like it. I'm still very new at this so I appreciate your comments!**

**I don't own Lie to Me.**

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She sat in her dimly lighted office, as her tired thoughts wandered over the events of the past few months. Maybe apparently not much had changed in her or in the world around her, but she was starting to feel more and more aware of the passing of time. And maybe it was precisely the fact that time was passing and not much was really changing that made her feel like she did. She looked around at her office. They weren't out of their financial problems yet, but she was less worried. Maybe she was getting used to it. The thought of Torres brought a small smile to her face. The young natural was considered and considered herself Cal's protégé and not hers. She wasn't one who liked to explicitly mentor people anyways, but, after all, she was the one who had picked the young woman, she'd insisted to hire her and had made sure she won Cal's trust. So she felt she had the right to be proud of her, as she grew to probably become one of the world's greatest deception experts. And it was nice to have her around. Loker, whom she felt was more her offspring than Cal's, was finally maturing, and had solved some pretty tough situations in the past months. They had actually helped some people, which was the reason she had started this firm, but there were always those cases that break something inside of you that didn't really ever get fixed. It didn't get any better, rather they piled up, they added up together and you carried them around with you.. All the times that Cal had been in danger.... She had been too, of course, at times, but she never thought of that, and not because Cal was the reckless one, the one who liked to play hero.

Getting hurt scared her nowhere near as much losing Cal scared her. That one day his luck would just turn was her greatest fear.

Cal... What had happened to them in those past couple of months? Things seemed more or less the same as they had always been, but were they really? Their friendship had been put to strain by some difficult situations, and....

Well, he'd done it once again, once again he had chosen another woman, a woman very different from her. Chosen most probably not being the right term, not like she'd given him much of a choice. Not like he'd rejected her. But, in a way, she had hoped, after that night he had showed up on her doorstep and asked to sleep in her spare bedroom, that maybe things could be different between them, after all they were finally both single. They were, at that time, it hadn't lasted long enough, had it? But how would she have reacted if he had wanted things to change back then? She couldn't blame it on him, she had been just as scared.

And he'd fallen again for a woman so different from her... The equivalent of roulette. Not just a one night stand like in Vegas, but it hadn't lasted too long either. She was hopefully out of the picture now. Well, more or less. She knew Cal. This woman had come to see him at work, she'd had to see her march right in, not waiting to be announced anymore. She'd hear people's comments, even though they'd fall silent as soon as she'd enter the room. It annoyed her that they thought she cared. At least twice, she knew for sure they'd had sex in his office. That had really awoken some kind of furious murderous amazon inside her that she had struggled to keep from doing something violent. She was jealous. It didn't surprise her. Of course she had started to date another man, a nice man, handsome, who really liked her, who made her feel good again. She hadn't felt like that in a long time. Then she had started to like this man too, and it wasn't just to get back at Cal anymore. Funny, how Torres had told her one day, "You did the right thing". Just like that, no explanation needed. She had.

But then why did it feel so wrong? Why did it feel like they had managed to duplicate on a smaller scale the scenario they had lived in for years, him married to Zoe, her marrying Alec? She had thought that at least, even if they were never to have a happy ending, at least, they had broken free of that trap. But apparently it was a pattern. On top of that, compared to those times it felt like they had grown more distant. And she missed, really missed, all the little things that had kept her going all those years... The "luv"s, the brief touching, the intense looks and the occasional chaste kisses.

He sat in his dimly lighted office, thinking. He looked up to see her walk in with a bottle and two glasses.

"I thought you might want a drink too." She smiled, sat down, poured the amber liquid. Handed him a glass, took a sip from hers. Soon they were talking like they used to, about people and their lies, then they started joking about Loker and Torres and his rough chuckle and her musical giggles filled the room.

And she realised she had got it back, that feeling that was them...

That strong friendship and trust and companionship, and their eyes, that when they occasionally let them, held that promise of much more, which sent thrills through her body and made her life worth living.

Maybe, one day...


End file.
